If saying 'yes' has been your default mode…
Being organized is not just about knowing where your stuff is, it is also about time management and making priorities which at this time of year with all the extra demands, extra work and extra parties can be hard for some people to make. So are you okay saying this little 2 letter word “NO”?
Science is showing that if you are a people-pleaser you may have a lower life expectancy. And while I don’t really feel like checking the science behind this, it did get me thinking…
For far too long, I’ve been happy to saying "YES" when someone is asking for help and I’ve very often prioritized other people and their needs over my own, often putting myself at the bottom of my to-do list. I knew the problem wasn’t saying “yes” and feel happy about it, it was saying “no” and feel bad about it or saying “yes” and doing it grudgingly. Saying “yes” was also for me a way to procrastinate/avoid doing things I did not want to do at home or for work and forget about my own life. But I still had to do them so it only took time away that I needed for myself.
Facts:
a) “NO” is a full sentence
b) Saying “NO” to something is really saying “YES” to something else, usually me or a project or cause that I’m truly invested in.
c) You don't owe anything to anyone. And doing something out of obligation is sometimes worse than not doing it at all.
I was sent an article by Shine app that really made me think about how to know where to invest my time… they talk about the “YES” test. And this may sound harsh at first but I thought about it and summarized it to this. To ask myself those 3 questions:
That’s not to say pro bono work doesn’t have its place, but you’ve got to determine what is your own set of core values? When are you’re willing to work for free? For me, if it aligns with your own personal mission of helping children or woman in need or whatever you believe in then I’m all about it. What are the exceptions you’re willing to make?
When you’re trying something new, saying “yes” to opportunities to hone your craft will only help you in the long run.
Now, of course, there are things you have to do. But if you don’t really want to attend your second cousin you barely know bachelor’s party, all the way across the country, send a gift and call it a day.
Maybe your Yes test is different but you can create your own “yes”. Maybe it’s “Does it make me stronger?” or “Does it help me grow?” or “Does it make me feel creative?” or “Does it challenge me in a good way?” or even “Does it involve tacos?” Seriously—your yes test is yours to own, and so is your time.
Time is a non-renewable resource and our most precious currency. Spend it wisely!!
Wishing you all a happy Holiday season, a Merry Christmas and of course most importantly; Happy Organizing!
Being organized is not just about knowing where your stuff is, it is also about time management and making priorities which at this time of year with all the extra demands, extra work and extra parties can be hard for some people to make. So are you okay saying this little 2 letter word “NO”?
Science is showing that if you are a people-pleaser you may have a lower life expectancy. And while I don’t really feel like checking the science behind this, it did get me thinking…
For far too long, I’ve been happy to saying "YES" when someone is asking for help and I’ve very often prioritized other people and their needs over my own, often putting myself at the bottom of my to-do list. I knew the problem wasn’t saying “yes” and feel happy about it, it was saying “no” and feel bad about it or saying “yes” and doing it grudgingly. Saying “yes” was also for me a way to procrastinate/avoid doing things I did not want to do at home or for work and forget about my own life. But I still had to do them so it only took time away that I needed for myself.
Facts:
a) “NO” is a full sentence
b) Saying “NO” to something is really saying “YES” to something else, usually me or a project or cause that I’m truly invested in.
c) You don't owe anything to anyone. And doing something out of obligation is sometimes worse than not doing it at all.
I was sent an article by Shine app that really made me think about how to know where to invest my time… they talk about the “YES” test. And this may sound harsh at first but I thought about it and summarized it to this. To ask myself those 3 questions:
- Does “It” bring me closer to where I want to be tomorrow?
That’s not to say pro bono work doesn’t have its place, but you’ve got to determine what is your own set of core values? When are you’re willing to work for free? For me, if it aligns with your own personal mission of helping children or woman in need or whatever you believe in then I’m all about it. What are the exceptions you’re willing to make?
- Does It Make Me Better?
When you’re trying something new, saying “yes” to opportunities to hone your craft will only help you in the long run.
- Does It Make Me Happy?
Now, of course, there are things you have to do. But if you don’t really want to attend your second cousin you barely know bachelor’s party, all the way across the country, send a gift and call it a day.
Maybe your Yes test is different but you can create your own “yes”. Maybe it’s “Does it make me stronger?” or “Does it help me grow?” or “Does it make me feel creative?” or “Does it challenge me in a good way?” or even “Does it involve tacos?” Seriously—your yes test is yours to own, and so is your time.
Time is a non-renewable resource and our most precious currency. Spend it wisely!!
Wishing you all a happy Holiday season, a Merry Christmas and of course most importantly; Happy Organizing!
Author
Sophie Bent is a Professional Organizer & Productivity Consultant @Bent On Organizing, LLC. She is a NAPO Specialist in Residential Organizing in South Florida and has been organizing businesses and homes since 2008. Contact her at 561-404-7181 or www.bentonorganizing.com
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